The Best Steak for Two Is "Steak for One"
Plus: Why Hometown's big beef rib is still one of the city's great meat dishes
The case against ordering that really big steak
The Lo Times is a steak-forward publication :)
Most of you know this.
In the spring, we publish our Budget Steak Guide.
And in the fall, we put out a luxe list of New York’s Best Steaks. Some of the cuts are prime ribs. Others are wagyu. And at least one offering is vegetarian. But a few exceptions aside, I don’t really include large-format steaks in these columns.
Those Cadillac-sized cuts don’t interest me. They’re too big. Too boring. Too expensive.
"I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, 'I'm glad I ate that,’” Jim Gaffigan quips in his most famous bit.
“Did I eat it or rub it on my face?,” he adds.
That’s how I feel after a really big steak.
I do not feel good.
I’ve been reviewing restaurants for twenty years, and I don’t remember the last time a cote de boeuf wowed me in a way that a great ribeye didn’t. There’s little a porterhouse is capable of that a bone-in strip couldn’t do more nimbly.
And the only thing a tomahawk excels at is looking good on Instagram. It is the superficial influencer of the beef world.
To be sure, a really big steak isn’t like ordering a live king crab. You know what I’m talking about. Show up at a great Cantonese spot with 600 bucks and the restaurant will let you explore all the nooks and crannies of that crustacean in three distinct preparations: steamed, fried, and tossed with rice. Not the sort of thing you’d get from a single crab leg. You need the entire beast.
But most big steaks just get you…more steak. More of the same.
If I’m going to drop a tasting menu’s worth of money on a single cut, I want infinite layers of savoriness and funk. I want cheese aging, sticky riffs on bordelaise, and levels of profound beefiness that make me want to reach for a martini after just one bite.
I want smaller portions and bigger flavors. If the only steak on the menu is an onglet, an entraña, or a galbi, I know I’m in the right place.
There was a time in the early 2010s — The Age of Minetta — when you could walk into any hip new brasserie and a waiter would start waxing poetic about the chalkboard ribeye for two. But while chophouses still offer those larger cuts — and I’m curious how steak culture will evolve in our carnibro era — most diners surely want something more modest. Especially as beef prices inch further into the stratosphere.
So here’s my current mantra: a steak for one is the best steak for two.
Because steaks are too big.
I’ve believed this for a while, but let me pass along a more personal note: the throes I subjected my body to for last year’s red meat guide gave me a moment of pause.
I wasn’t in a healthy place afterwards.
Honestly, four ounces of steak is all I need. Or two ounces for ultra-marbled wagyu. If that lush tri tip weighs in at three-quarters of a pound, as it does at A5 in Denver, I know that’s enough for my full party.
So my advice is that you skip the cote de boeuf. And for heaven’s sake, don’t get the same exact cut as your buddy (better yet, don’t both order steak, period). That’s as true of the hefty prime rib at La Tete D’Or as it is of the smaller sirloin at Lord’s.
Two people getting the same steak at the same table is the functional equivalent of building an off-menu porterhouse. Don’t do it.
If you’re at a restaurant with a friend or spouse, just share the picanha. Or the skirt steak. Or whatever. Then get a bunch of small plates or sides.
Ordering less steak lets you order more stuff. I mean, you waited three weeks for that booking at Alma Fonda Fina or Corima, so do you and your date really want to blow all your stomach space (and table space) with two strips? Probably not.
Or here’s a different way of looking at things: You wouldn’t go to MoMA to see Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” and little else. You’d want to check out some works by Wilfredo Lam and others. Though in fairness to the late Dutch painter, you probably wouldn’t barf if you took in too much of his art.
Skip the steak for two, and you’ll see so much more.
Like I said, the best steak for two is the steak for one.
My second mantra is that the best steak for one is the Modern Steak Taco.
Obviously, if you’re going to Peter Luger you should get the steak for two, but my recommendation is that you go elsewhere.