This Poulet Frites Will Blow Your Mind
Review: Gui's stellar new prime rib. Plus: What to order at Crevette, a new seafood destination by the Dame crew
For today’s review of Crevette — one of my favorite new restaurants — I’ll walk you through three different meals based on budget and preferences! But first…
Don’t!!!
So much food writing is about things we love.
This brings me joy.
But I also love when we write about things we don’t like. And I’m not talking about formal criticism; I’m talking about being just a little bit crabby. And penning a highly subjective rant or two. To counter all our gushy superlatives. And to remind everyone that everything isn’t always “the best.”
Especially now.
Anthony Bourdain wrote viral (and bacterial!) screeds against hollandaise and brunch service in “Kitchen Confidential.” Tammie Teclemariam put out a stellar compilation of red flags at restaurants, including caviar bumps, fake ivy walls, and the approval of Mayor Adams.
And let us not forget Alan Richman’s 20 dining commandments, published in his 2004 book, “Fork It Over.”
Some of his dictums are vestiges of a bygone era.
Richman insists that receptionists not put us on hold more than once, which is amusing because restaurants don’t answer their phones anymore. And he advises against ordering any “house wine.” Just about anything else is better, he writes, including “Lager brewed from the toxic waters of America's Great Lakes.” I’ll counter that in contemporary New York, the most affordable pour, while not necessarily called “house,” is often a tasty, aromatic white! But it’ll cost $19 per glass :(
So be it. This type of kvetching is a linchpin of Grievance Culture, a cat’s cradle of mild gripes that serves as a vital time capsule of the way we used to live. Of the way we used to eat. Larry David is the all-time master as this, but jaded restaurant journalists are close behind.
My favorite Richman exhortation is this: “Don't order steak at a seafood restaurant. However, seafood at a steakhouse is never bad.” Timeless advice, though I have my own opinion as to why.
I don’t doubt the beef-cooking abilities of our top seafood chefs. Not for a second. If you order a slice of A5 wagyu at any stellar sushi spot, it will be better portioned and seared than at your run-of-the-mill chophouse. Le Bernardin offers lamb and filet mignon upon request, and I’m sure they’re both great.
But here’s the thing: If I’m at a venue doing high wire acrobatics with fish — maybe langoustine tartare with crustacean oil, or rouget with a sauce of its prized liver — the last thing I want is yet another steak. A steak I can cook at home.
The random ribeye always strikes me as an amusing menu item at one of these coastal-leaning spots. I don’t expect my local vegetarian joint to carry foie gras sliders. And yet, so many seafood venues offer pricey steak, in case four dobermans show up in tuxedoes with a black amex and an aversion to mackerel.
I get it. It’s a bloody business decision. People are weird about fish. But really, you should take Richman’s advice. No need to order a perfunctory steak — or any hefty cut of meat — at a seafood restaurant. I’m sure of it.
Maybe I’ll do a (respectful) grievance list myself.
It’s a way to keep our claws sharp while taking a break from the bigger stuff. We can’t go at it nonstop for four years straight. On that note: Reach out to your buds with green cards and student visas and check in on them. They are really spooked rn.
What to order at Crevette. And why the chicken rocks…
Crevette in the West Village is one of the city’s finest and most eclectic new seafood restaurants. Raw tuna belly arrives on crispy potato cakes. Octopus skewers come doused in green harissa.
But there are also meatier items. On my second of three visits, the guy next to me ordered the hefty poulet frites. A (presumably) generic dish available at a thousand different brasseries. I sighed. At least he didn’t order the steak.
Then I saw what came out of the kitchen. And I became envious.
This chicken is not a perfunctory cut of meat. Nor is it generic.
It’s not meant to appease the fish-phobic.
Chef Ed Szymanski takes Sasso chickens (the good stuff) from Pennsylvania, debones the legs, ages them for a day, and marinates the birds in confit garlic, olive oil, lemon juice, and fish sauce. When a patron puts in an order, the kitchen grills a half chicken over charcoal, rests it, slices it, and lies it down over a pool of roasted jus. The sauce is as dark as suede. As handsome as bespoke car leather. The jus is so fancy that if you spilled it all over the back seat of a Bentley, the owner wouldn’t notice. Maybe.
So how did it taste? Really, really good.
It’s one of the most delicious and precise chicken preps I’ve tried in quite some time. A perfect thing to order. Even at a seafood spot, where it’s one of the most popular dishes.
Like I said, Grievance Culture is subjective. I’m sure of it ;)
Behind the Paywall: Crevette, Reviewed
Why Crevette’s $38 chicken is so good
Three different meals at Crevette: affordable, spendy, meaty
Why the bouillabaisse at Crevette is so amazing
Bonus: The case for Gui’s $79 prime rib